I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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