that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
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