Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
