Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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