just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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