Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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