I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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