Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize