I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
