margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sext me about skeletons
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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