his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
