I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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