you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
