my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Randomize