what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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