I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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