I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize