So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
