I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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