So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
