oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
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