This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
