also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
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You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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