i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
