I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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