heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
