Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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