I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He has the fingertips of a God
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