oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize