She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
