You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You are the jesus of drinking
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
