I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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