Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Randomize
