i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
