is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
