how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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