any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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