just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
