plz talk dirty to me
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
i've created a new STD.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
