I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
