Hey man sorry I got all grabby
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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