I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
