I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
