Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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