It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
