Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
