Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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