My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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