they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
