Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Operation Purity has been aborted
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
