did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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