Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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