just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
