Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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