? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
