How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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