i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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